Let’s face it, raising a child is no easy task. Last Thursday was #NationalDrinkWineDay, but as a parent you might wonder what the difference is from every other day. Parenting takes lots of patience, cooperation, and at least a few dozen cases of wine every year (a figure that compounds as they become teenagers) to preserve sanity… but these hilarious wine tweets are helping us along the way.
When it comes to explaining the benefits in hilarious fashion, these are some of the best examples of we’ve found.
1. Forget about the bake sales…
If they’d put the damn box tops on wine boxes, every school would have a heliport by now.
— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 4, 2015
2. To be fair, it’s better than receiving a graded test with wine stains.
I guess sending school paperwork back with wine stains may not send the right message.
Then again it may send EXACTLY the right message.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) September 7, 2015
3. This could be part of American Ninja Warrior
Parenting is all about balance especially when you’re chasing them with a full glass of wine in your hand.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) August 20, 2015
4. You’re telling me there’s more than 2 glasses are in a bottle?
Fun fact: There is a direct correlation between Common Core Math & wine sales trending upward.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 13, 2015
5. We call it “exotic pairing”
All I’ve had today is cold coffee, applesauce, Cheezits, fruit snacks, and wine.
Why yes, I have kids. How did you know?
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) September 30, 2015
6. Somebody sign this woman to a deal!
🎶Hello from the mother side, I must’ve drank a thousand wines. But I’m not sorry, I could drink more. I have 3 kids, and the oldest is 4.🎶
— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) December 13, 2015
7. Like you have a better way to survive PTA meetings.
(Okay, so it’s beer, but just replace the beer bottle with a wine bottle. It still checks out.)
*slams down beer*
I’m out of order?
You’re out of order!
THIS WHOLE PTA MEETING IS OUT OF ORDER!!— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 24, 2015
8. Their trampoline looks pretty sketchy, but they have a massive wine cellar…
Parenting Level: Approving my kids’ friends based on which parents I think would drink wine with me during playdates.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) May 7, 2015
9. Sweet child, you have a bright future.
One of my 4 nephews just brought me wine and said, “Here’s your Christmas juice,” and now he’s the one I’m leaving everything to.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) December 25, 2015
10. Let’s just say it’s a birth mark.
How do you get a red wine stain off a baby?
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 3, 2013
So go ahead, pour yourself another, and raise a glass to your triumphs!
Have more wine tweets you want to throw our way? Tweet us @LastBottleWines!
